Speak Up

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. Matthew 18:15

Sometimes I think the sins of omission are worse than sins of commission.   (Certainly, we do not see our sins of omission as clearly.) There is a verse in the book of Proverbs that says: when words are many, sin is not absent. No doubt, I have sinned much over the years by what I have said.  But, I have also sinned by what I have left unsaid.

My wife is an excellent communicator. Her over communication can irritate me, but more often than not my lack of communication hurts her and my relationship with her. Here is where I fail to communicate:

First, there are things that I fail to say that need to be said out of love.  It is very tempting as a pastor simply to be nice to people rather than tell them the truth.  Often after an encounter or perhaps a counseling session, I have to repent of things I did not say.  I may fail to speak up because I don’t want to have a confrontation, or I want people to like me. In doing so I love myself more than I am loving them.

Second, there are also words of love and affirmation I fail to express.  I am not sure why.  Perhaps, we feel like we are giving away some great treasure when we thank someone or when we speak well to them.  I thought about this this weekend. After my sermon on generosity, I had the privilege of thanking some amazingly generous people, and then I wondered why had I not done thanked them before. Why did I withhold praise?

Third, then there are the people I have problems with.  I should go directly to them and work it out, but often I don’t.  I leave the thing unsaid or worse I may tell someone else rather than going to them.  It can be a terrifying thing to confront someone and speak your mind

Honest speech set Jesus’ ministry apart.  He spoke up. This was his manner of loving. He opened up about when others remained silent. And, he left this legacy to us, his church.  This sort of speech is meant to be a vehicle for our love.  Okay.  So how are we doing?

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Eph. 4:14-16